It all happened to smooth, so flowy, so beautiful. She's been watching, waiting, and leading me for a long time now. She's been gently directing my choices. She's been just on the outside. I could feel her on my skin, sometimes in my hands, but not fully in my body. She came gracefully, and softly, never jarring my system too much. She came with love in my heart, and dancing in my feet, and knowing in my fingers. And she's here, with me always, on the inside now. In Tantra it's referred to as Kundalini awakening. But I just call her the Goddess, and it feels like she's wearing my body as a suit now.
Osho describes Kundalini as a potential energy. It sits at the base of the spine, near the sacral chakra and waits. It's waiting for you to open up to allow it in. Then it turns into a kinetic energy and can move through you and activate other extraordinary gifts in you. Osho says that as Kundalini awakens and rises, you'll have so much energy that your old energy channels are not able to contain it, and so it irresistibly seeks new avenues and new doors. As a result, many new and subtle senses within you wake up and become active.
But in the same breath he also cautions you doing too much research into Kundalini before it awakens in you. Commit to meditation, and embodiment, and living a life dedicated to the Goddess, and you will discover it for yourself. For it awakens in different ways for different people. You may know a few things about Kundalini, and that might be that you've heard of two snakes coiled at the base of the spine and when they awaken you feel them slither up each chakra until they break through at the crown. This is one way that Kundalini can awaken. But if you are only waiting for that one experience, you may miss it awakening in other ways.
This is one reason I have not spoken much about Kundalini, and partially why I just refer to her as the Goddess embodied within me. I don't want to lead you in the wrong direction, and I want you to be embodied, and meditate, and dedicate yourself to the Goddess more than you desire Kundalini. Because Kundalini is actually relatively easy to awaken within you. There are certain things you can do that will awaken her. And in the Tantric traditions it is told that everyone is supposed to awaken her at some point in their lives. But, today, we live too far away from what would naturally awaken her.
Modern life in the West is especially designed to disconnect you from your innate power, to keep you so busy chasing that you never arrive. And the Goddess? She is feared. They lie to you about her. She is outcast and made to be a myth. Because once you awaken to her power you no longer need their power because it comes from within.
I dare to say that I'm not special in any way for awakening her. Everyone can do it. I just took the steps to get there, and most people won't. Most people will deny it, most people will say I'm imagining things, some people may even say I've gone crazy. And there's nothing that I can say to prove it to you that it's true. You either trust and move towards it blindly, or you deny and never let her in. I'm not here to prove anything to you. I trust my own experience, and I trust the Goddess. Magic doesn't exist to those who don't believe. And what's the worst that can happen if you believe? Honestly?
Here's the only advice I'll give you if you do dream of Kundalini awakening in you. Feel first. Go into meditation and embodiment with an open mind and clear slate. No expectations. And if you begin to feel a sensation in you, then allow it. Don't try to change it or move it. Just allow and watch. Feel. Not every sensation is kundalini. Your own energy field is separate from her. Kundalini is the potential energy center. But you have your own energy already. By becoming sensitive to the subtle energies of your own body then you'll start to understand how Kundalini might feel in you. Osho says to not make any intellectual effort towards it at all. No pre-notion is needed, not only is it not needed, it is positively harmful! Simply sit and observe the sensations, and you will come to know her eventually.
This advice helped me so much in my awakening. I'm so used to moving my own personal energy around that it was hard not to try and direct it. But Kundalini is intelligent, and you are not, not in these realms. So, the more you try to force it and move it, the further you move away from it. I relaxed and went into meditation and felt the energy moving, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited. 3 hours of meditation and I felt it entering my crown! Know that you don't have to feel it in every chakra. If the chakra is unblocked, then you won't feel it there. It is only when the energy is blocked that you'll feel it kicking the door down.
You could also have a different number of chakras than what is written. Some lineages say 7, some say 4, some say 9. You actually have thousands of chakras all over your body. The Goddess can move through any of them to rise.
Trust. This is the last kernel of advice I'll leave you with. Every moment of my 3-day awakening gave me the same message over and over. Trust. Trust myself. Trust her. Trust others. Trust the invisible plan. Trust. Anytime a doubt or fear entered my mind the word trust was whispered again, and I relaxed and surrendered.
Or don't trust and see how far that gets you. It won't matter to me. Will it matter to you?
INSPIRED ACTION: Feel. You next meditation, just feel. Focus on the sensations in the body and feel. Don't try to change them or move them. Get used to this feeling of allowing the sensations to come. And stay with them as long as you can.
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